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Hu's on First!

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this skit after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China. I pinched it from Sergiu Hart's web site which you can visit HERE.

(We take you now to the Oval Office:)

George:   Condi. Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi:      Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George:   Great. Lay it on me.

Condi:      Hu is the new leader of China.

George:   That's what I want to know.

Condi:      That's what I'm telling you.

George:   That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi:      Yes.

George:   I mean the fellow's name.

Condi:      Hu.

George:   The guy in China.

Condi:      Hu.

George:   The new leader of China.

Condi:      Hu.

George:   The Chinaman!

Condi:      Hu is leading China.

George:   Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi:      I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George:   Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi:      That's the man's name.

George:   That's who's name?

Condi:      Yes.

George:   Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi:      Yes, sir.

George:   Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi:      That's correct.

George:   Then who is in China?

Condi:      Yes, sir.

George:   Yassir is in China?

Condi:      No, sir.

George:   Then who is?

Condi:      Yes, sir.

George:   Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George:   Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi:      Kofi?

George:   No, thanks.

Condi:      You want Kofi?

George:   No.

Condi:      You don't want Kofi.

George:   No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi:      Yes, sir.

George:   Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi:      Kofi?

George:   Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi:      And call who?

George:   Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi:      Hu is the guy in China.

George:   Will you stay out of China?

Condi:      Yes, sir.

George:   And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi:      Kofi.

George:   All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi:      Rice, here.

George:   Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?